I never in a million years thought I would be a stay at home mom. I’ve been working for as long as I can remember. My first job was at the age of 11 or 12 doing the paper route in our neighbourhood! Getting up and going to work was just something I enjoyed doing. So imagine waking up one morning and realizing that waking up and being a stay at home mom was going to be my new job. I thought to myself I am going to go nuts.
So what made me decide to become a stay at home mom? There were several factors that came into play. The number one obvious thing was money. It was actually going to cost more money to go to work than if I were to stay home. the before and after care programs that I would have to put my kids in would be the equivalent to a paycheck! That’s the price of living in the GTA unfortunately.
Another reason that factored our decision was the time we will get with our kids. The time I would in spend in transit to and from work, I would barely get to see my kiddos. That’s just not going to fly for me or my husband! Fortunately, my hubby’s parents are around and my mom is around to help out with things but that’s just not how I saw my parenting life. I wanted to be the one teaching and guiding my kids, that way I feel is right. I didn’t want my days to be short with them. I didn’t want to miss their milestones or school events or first swim class or whatever it is. I grew up having and EXTREMELY close relationship with my parents where I was able to literally tell them anything that was going on in my life. This is the type of relationship I NEED to have with my kids, especially with how things are going these days with social media
So these two reasons alone was enough for us to make the decision easily without question. I have never under estimated the worth of a stay at home mom. Personally, even more so after being a stay at home mom for over a year now, it is the hardest job that anyone could have. For sure it’s the hardest job I’ve ever had.
The crazy part is the amount of opinions and views people have of a stay at home mom. A lot of people think what can we be so tired about if we’re home all day or that we have all the time in the world to do something because we just sit around all day. WRONG WRONG WRONG! If we were to get paid for the things we do as stay at home moms, we would be so well off it’s not even funny! There are a ton of people who can’t do half of what a stay at home mom does simply because they don’t have the patience. The truth is I’m so exhausted most days that the moment the kids go to bed, I go to bed as well. I don’t take naps when the kids nap. I choose to take that time to get things done or have a little me time.
Becoming a stay at home mom turned my world completely upside down from any social or independence life I had for the past 14-15 years. I have no regrets about being home with my kids. Every smile, hug and laugh makes every frustration go away and worth it but that being said I feel like I don’t know how to socialize any more. My hubby has never made me feel like “My money is my money and your money is your money”. We’ve always been about the “our” unit. It’s just a mental thing for me where I’ve always had something to call my own and be independent and to suddenly switch to being dependent on someone, it’s a lot!
Everyday I am going to work on trying not to think of it as being dependent on someone but more like we’re doing what’s best for our family. One of my goals for this year is to get out more and start doing things for myself more often. It’s okay to put ourselves first Mama’s. In fact, I think we need to put ourselves first to maintain some sort of sanity! Go out and watch a movie, get your nails done or just go window shopping at your favourite store just to get some time to yourself, doing what you love. Just because we become Mom’s doesn’t mean we have to lose who we are.
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